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Rockford Files, this was so disappointing when I found out who he was, some old smug cowboy. I was in second grade when my friend Matt made this song up about me. I don't remember exactly what happened or why he did it. But what I do know is that I was a pain in the ass, so I probably deserved it, and now I love it. But at the time in second grade, it enraged me. I didn't want some red headed tall kid making fun of me, calling me JanedaPain and telling everyone I was in love with this old cowboy.

At the time I was in love with Bo and Luke Duke from the Dukes of Hazard. Although I was not allowed to watch that show if my mother was around, I did find a way to watch it almost religiously. I did understand why she did not want me to watch the show, and it mostly had to do with how degrading the show portrayed women. Actually both shows used women as sexual objects, by dumbing them down and suggesting submissive behavior. She also highly disapproved of any violence which is a reason why she locked up the T.V. from us as much as she possibly could. And was another reason why I didn't even know who Rockford Files was until after I was told I was in love with him. But know you know the story, and know the truth behold and my life story has begun to unfold.